Gomi def. Griffin via 1st Round TKO - Damn.  I don’t think anyone aside from the most hardcore of Gomi fans would have called this one.  For the record, I called this one Griffin via lead blanket decision initially.  I, and for that matter the vast majority of the MMA community, was sleeping on the Fireball Kid, and he showed us that he can still summon up those PRIDE highlight reel moments on occasion.  I’m not going to be buying a ticket on the hype train until he does it a few more times, but I would be absolutely fucking pumped to have the Fireball Kid of old tear up the UFC’s lightweight division.

Ellenberger def. Howard via 3rd Round Doc Stoppage - I alluded to a win by Ellenberger in this one due to his experience and previous competition, but these guys were so evenly matched that I didn’t feel that one had a guaranteed win over the other.  Ellenberger took it home, but not in convincing fashion. Doomsday nearly put him out a couple of times, but honestly that’s going to be a problem for anyone who stands and trades with the dude.  No fault on Ellenberger there.

That said, I think GSP might feel the need to bust out in song to criticize Ellenberger’s weak submission defense in top position, be it inside guard or half guard.  Posting (placing your hand palm down on the mat, pushup style) is generally considered a noob mistake in BJJ, and by extrapolation, MMA as well. Ellenberger posted every single time he dropped to the mat.  His arms kept on getting tied up because of it, resulting in a complete lack of damage in the first round.  Thankfully, he had the good sense to switch to posting with his left arm in the 2nd, leaving his right free to rain elbows down on Howard’s dome.

The point remains though, a guy like Demian Maia (or for that matter, recent UFC WW addition and possible future champ Jake Shields) would have ripped Ellenberger’s arm free of its socket in the first round for a mistake like that.  If he had kept his grubby palms off the mat, Ellenberger probably could have pounded Howard out inside the 1st.  Oh well, a W’s a W.

Okami def. Munoz via Split Decision - I said it was Munoz’ fight to lose, and it was, and he did.  His reluctance to engage in a stand-up war with Okami cost him the match.  Okami is, without a doubt, the more technical striker, but Munoz has more power in his hands and a lot more to lose at this point in his career.  As much as I hate this particular trope, Munoz definitely did not leave it all in the octagon.  He played it safe, and ended up losing a fight he could have won, or at least lost in a slightly more exciting way.  As a side note, the dude who gave the decision to Munoz?  Cecil Peoples.  Yep, the same Cecil Peoples who gave Shogun v. Machida 1 to Machida and then proceeded to tell us that if we don’t like his decision we can go to hell.  Cecil Peoples is a pretty cool guy, eh completely disregards leg kicks and doesn’t afraid of anything.

Jones def. Matyushenko via 1st Round TKO - I guess I gave Vladdy too much credit by assuming he’d find a way to survive till round 2.  Funny that he mentioned in the pre-fight hype reel that he knew fighting Bones was all about weathering the storm that Bones puts out in the first 2 minutes.  Pictured below, Vladimir Matyushenko preparing to weather the incoming 2 minute storm, as delivered by Jon Jones:

Now can we maybe see Jones up against someone on his level?  How about the winner of Bader v. Little Nog or loser of Rampage v. Machida?  Please stop feeding him mid-level competition, Joe Silva.

LIGHTNING ROUND:  Oliveira def. Elkins via 1st Round Armbar/Triangle Choke - So word on the street was that this Oliveira kid is a bit of a beast.  I was stoked for this fight, but was thinking I was going to have to use my imagination to flesh out the listed results.  Very glad that they showed it on the live broadcast, and it’s nice to see that Oliveira’s hype is deserved.  Good on him for getting Sub of the Night too.  I’d like to see him against someone like Joe Stevenson or Tyson Griffin next, a guy with good wrestling, decent striking, and solid submission defense.  He’s main card worthy, definitely.

Pretty damn good for a free card, and a hell of an appetizer for this coming Saturday’s UFC 117.  More on that one later.

Jon ‘Bones’ Jones v. Vladimir ‘The Janitor’ Matyushenko (LHW)

Mark Munoz v. Yushin Okami (MW)

John Howard v. Jake Ellenberger (WW)

Tyson Griffin v. Takanori Gomi (LW)

We’ll go match by match.

Jones v. Matyushenko – On paper, this is an easy match to call.  Bones has shattered the orbital of a better striker, and didn’t seem to have much trouble outwrestling Matt Hamill.  Though Matyushenko is a crafty veteran and packs vicious armbar and neck cranking skills, I have a pretty good feeling that Bones’ relatively untested submission defense won’t prove to be his Achilles heel. Matyushenko’s chin betrayed him against Little Nog and Andrei Arlovski, and while Bones may not have the sheer brute force that the Russian Pitbull brings to the table, his technical acumen, speed, and freakishly long reach should be more than enough to send the Janitor on vacation to the land of wind and ghosts.  Oh, and I think I might have promised a video… See below.

Munoz v. Okami – This one is going to be a war.  Both of these guys are extremely well rounded and improve noticeably from fight to fight, so it’s extremely tough to call.  Okami has had trouble with strong wrestlers before, and Munoz is pretty decent at keeping an opponent pinned down while he pummels them, but the Filipino Wrecking Machine likes to stand and bang so that advantage may not end up being the deciding factor.  Furthermore, Munoz is no Jake Shields or Chael Sonnen when it comes to the lead blanket game. Unfortunately for Okami, he’s probably not going to want to stand up with Munoz either.  The Black House-trained Munoz has shown vast improvements in his striking with each outing, which is not surprising when you look at their roster.  If Okami’s chin holds up, he may be able to pull out a submission or decision win on Munoz, but this is Munoz’ fight to lose.

Howard v. Ellenberger – Here we have 2 guys who love punching faces until owner of said face is unconscious.  Stylistically speaking, I think Ellenberger takes this one by decision purely on chin strength and ability to maintain top control throughout the fight.  With that said, I’m not sleeping on Howard.  He’s a technical striker with knockout power and an underrated ground game, but I don’t think he has anything that Ellenberger hasn’t already seen.

Griffin v. Gomi – Probably the least interesting fight on the card.  Gomi looked like a pale, faded shadow of his PRIDE days in his UFC debut against Kenny Florian.  Griffin pretty much only loses to fighters who are better versions of himself.  Advantage: Griffin.  Expect Griffin to adopt a lead blanket approach to beating the more technically-savvy Fireball Kid.  Griffin by UD.

As a fight fan, I’m happy any time I see his name on the card, because I know that he always comes out with bad intentions, and his #1 goal is to put on a hell of a show – a promise which he delivers on more often than not, even if it often results on him taking an L for his efforts.  Ever since the brawl with Forrest Griffin that marked his inauguration into the UFC, Bonnar has been going out and leaving it all on the line in every fight he’s been signed for.  What more could a fight fan ask for?

As an MMA analyst, I’m really not sure how to feel about Stephan Bonnar.  There are many areas where he’s sorely lacking, technically, and most of his wins are the result of him overwhelming his opponent and either grabbing a decision or making use of his decent ground game to submit them.  As a stand-up fighter, he has moderate foot movement, but very little head movement, and tends to keep his hands very low, leaving his head completely exposed.  Rewatching his fight with Krzysztof Soszynski at UFC 116, it appears that he doesn’t know the meaning of blocking or dodging.  Any time he finds himself getting caught with punches, his solution is simply to swing for the fences.

His ground game is actually quite underrated and well developed, having started wrestling at the age of 10 as well as having trained under the legendary Carlson Gracie Sr. for some time.  In fact, most of his career wins come via submission.  This makes it all the more puzzling that he spends most of his time on his feet, where the only thing preventing him from being completely outclassed is a granite chin and sheer dogged determination.

As the fight rolls on, Rogan and Goldie’s commentary reveals that Stephan devotes a lot of effort to training, hitting up a wide variety of MMA gyms across the US and flying out to Thailand to train Muay Thai, taking home 2 Golden Gloves boxing awards, and training BJJ under Carlson Gracie Sr. as mentioned previously.  When the fight ends in the middle of the 2nd round, giving Bonnar the second TKO win of his career, I can’t help but feel that we didn’t get to see the results of those training sessions in action.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly enjoying watching a Stephan Bonnar fight from a technical perspective, and I definitely feel like he avoids playing to his strengths for fear of ending up with a boring fight.  That said, when I just want to see a bloody dude in a cage throwing mitts with reckless abandon, I know whose fights I’m watching.

Sources close to Shields have revealed that his first fight will be against one of the top contenders in the division.  Interesting choice of words, as anyone within spitting distance of a title shot is booked for a fight already.  Shall we narrow it down some?

#1 Contender – Josh Koscheck, currently booked for a fight with GSP post-TUF 12.

#2 Contender – To be decided, Jon Fitch v. Thiago Alves (UFC 117)

#3 Contender – To be decided, Dan Hardy v. Carlos Condit (UFC 120)

So no one from the top 3 spots is available.  Mike Swick, Paulo Thiago, and Ben Saunders are all coming off of losses, so they’re probably out unless Joe Silva’s been taking matchmaking lessons from Strikeforce.  Anthony “Rumble” Johnson is out for the near future due to a knee injury suffered in training, and is coming off of a loss to the #1 contender, Josh Koscheck, so he’s unlikely to be considered as a top contender without taking a tune-up fight first.

So who does that leave?

Logically speaking, the best choice for Shields’ first opponent would be the lanky Dane, Martin “The Hitman” Kampmann.  Coming off of a dominating win of another of the division’s best, Brazilian spec-ops commando and part-time face destroyer Paulo Thiago, Kampmann is heading towards title contention.  He hasn’t been tested against a strong wrestler yet (no, I’m not counting Jacob Volkmann, a guy who had to move down to lightweight to keep his job) and Shields would fit that role quite well.  It’s a great fight for both fighters, as a win will clearly have either on track towards a title shot, and though Shields has more to lose here, a loss to Kampmann doesn’t hurt his career nearly as much as, say, a loss to Chris Lytle.

With a 14 fight win streak against notable competition and a resume that reads like someone took Jon Fitch’s career and added the ability to actually finish fights, Shields may be the only real threat to Georges St-Pierre’s belt in the division, barring an upset victory by Josh Koscheck.  Let’s see if he can get through a well-rounded fighter like Martin Kampmann first, though.

I’m gonna go ahead and post the transcript from that last link right here, because honestly, it’s a legitimate work of art.  If you ever want to rip on people with style, this is how it’s done.

“Hi, everybody! Remember me? Your ol’ buddy Chael? Y’know I spend most of my time fightin’, which doesn’t leave much time for writin’, but things being what they are, I’ve decided to take a moment or two, and fire up the ol’ Olivetti typewriter, put in a fresh ribbon, and share some of my recent thoughts with you….

Firstly, I’ve gotten a significant amount of feedback regarding my “correspondence” with MMA…..”Journalist” Jon Lane…So….To any and all members of the media: I’m always happy to talk and share my time and ideas with you. And I appreciate your efforts in contacting me, and instead of ‘circling the wagons’ around a “fellow journalist”, for applauding my efforts to….FIX things. Do me a favor, guys. Don’t be so hard on JonJon. He’ll get it. Bring him along, help him out here & there. I kinda like him. And Jon…..No hard feelings. Really. If you re-read our correspondence in the cold, hard, light of day, you’ll see I was trying to….HELP you.

I never expected you to be Umberto Eco; but those questions… guy! I mean COME ON. So buck up, little soldier. If you fall off, just get right back on – even if it’s only a keyboard you’re getting on.

And Lil’ Nog…..I read your appraisal of the upcoming fight betwixt your pal Anderson and yours truly and, I’ll be damned, you are one sharp dude…. about as sharp as a bag of wet mice.

Do yourself a favor: have your mouthpiece permanently installed in your mouth so you can’t speak at all. Have them feed you with a tube like a coma patient. You’re not doing Anderson any good and you’re sinking your own ship too. You say I’m not qualified to fight Anderson…Which means that the UFC brain trust – that thinks I AM and are also YOUR BOSSES — are idiots. It also means Ed Soares – Anderson’s manager and YOUR MANAGER TOO – doesn’t know what he’s doing, either. Smooth, guy. Very smooth. Do you have any other brilliant ideas or scathing critiques you care to impart to the UFC Brass or your own manager? Maybe that shot Sokodjou hit you with was worse than it looked (if that’s even possible).

You seem like a nice enough guy, and I have no real beef with you (Oh, and speaking of beef: If you can turn your disk over at the Rodizio once in awhile and get down to “185,” there’s gonna be a new sheriff there in less than a month who’ll be happy to ride you right back out of town on a rail). So please see this as the kind of well-intentioned advice I would give to a friend or training partner. And if you lose a few (you looked like Roy Nelson in a Frankenstein mask for that Brilz fight… which you lost, buddyboy), we can scrap in the Fall.

And Ed, I saw your recent comments. Not bad work. Hats off. You come across as professional and accountable in every respect…which makes your inability to control, explain or denounce Anderson’s behavior quite puzzling to me. THAT’S one of the main reasons we are where we are with all this: because you can’t make him fight.

You can’t explain why he does what he does and you refuse to give a consistent, rational explanation for it. It’s like you keep trying to sell the kids faulty fireworks that turn around after 10 feet and come screaming back and hit them in the eye or blow their hands off.

Are you aware that you represent the generally acknowledged best fighter in the world in the premier promotion on planet Earth and that the president of that company has promised to FIRE HIM for his behavior?

Aren’t you just a little embarrassed by that?

And that’s got NOTHING to do with me, or even this fight.

Imagine: Your team is on the two-yard line in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, but your star quarterback disregards the head coach’s instructions and calls a play where he throws the ball to a popcorn vendor in the sixth row, then eats a piece of turf and craps in his helmet on the 50-yard line.

Do you know who he’s REALLY mad at? NOT the fans or the opposing team…he’s mad at daddy; he’s mad at the coach!

WHY?

What causes that encoded hostility?

Is your fighter insane? If he is – and you therefore cannot reasonably predict his behavior – isn’t it incumbent upon YOU to find a way to fix it?

Don’t you owe that to the sport?

To the fans?

To his boss, Dana White?

And lastly… don’t you owe a debt to HIM and his long-term psychological well-being? Shouldn’t you get him the help he needs, before one of his irrational, unexplainable acts causes himself or someone else genuine harm? If he’s irrational and uncontrollable, put him in a psych ward. If he’s fine, prove it by giving a legitimate, rational, explanation for his actions in Abu Dhabi. I’m the one who has to fight him.
What’s going on, exactly?

…OK kids…….Chael has to go get all sweaty again.”

Mariusz is mostly notable for holding 5 “World’s Strongest Man” titles, and recently tapping to strikes against former UFC champ and current Krispy Kreme poster boy Tim Sylvia.  He’s 2-1 in his professional MMA record, with wins over Marcin Najman (0-1) and Yusuke Kawaguchi (11-2) prior to his fight with Sylvia.

While Kimbo has shown more growth as a mixed martial artist than anyone likely suspected, he’s not in the best of health.  At 36 years old, he’s past the generally accepted retirement age for fighters.  Though he may not agree with this, his knees clearly do, as was shown on TUF 10.  If Mariusz is familiar with leg kicks, it shouldn’t take much for him to reduce Kimbo to a limping mess that he can take down at his leisure and finish with strikes on the ground.  Then there’s the possibility of getting popped on the chin with a punch from “The World’s Strongest Man”, which is not a prospect that I would be excited for, were I in Slice’s shoes.

We definitely can’t write Kimbo off completely, however.  He’s shown some serious power in his fists, and if he’s been working on the holes in his game, he has a serious chance of winning this.  Pudzianowski is far from invincible, as he showed in his fight against an out-of-shape Tim Sylvia, and Kimbo may just have the heart to push through this and nab a win.  Maybe if he manages 1 or 2 wins in the smaller circuits, Dana White will bring him back to the UFC for a “Battle Of The Aging Brawlers” match against James Toney…

UFC 119 – The Rerun:

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira v. Frank Mir (HW)

Antonio Rogerio Nogueira v. Ryan Bader (LHW)

Sean Sherk v. Evan Dunham (LW)

Matt Serra v. Chris Lytle (WW)

Melvin Guillard v. Jeremy Stephens (LW)

This could be an interesting one.  The last time Big Nog and Frank Mir met, the larger Nogueira was suffering from a particularly nasty bout of staph and ended up getting KTFO’d for the first time in his career.  It would be easier to dismiss that as a one-off if Cain Velasquez hadn’t sent him to the land of wind and ghosts early in the first round when they met at UFC 110.  If Mir decides to keep his added bulk, we’re probably looking at a repeat of their first fight.  With both fighters coming off of losses to top contenders, this fight should serve nicely to decide which one of them is en route to another title shot and the subsequent ass-whipping to follow.  Oh, the life of an almost-but-not-quite champion!

Meanwhile, unless Little Nog has improved significantly since his split decision coin toss win against Jason Brilz, he’ll likely be visiting the same spirit world that Bader sent Keith Jardine to.  Failing that, the currently undefeated neckless wrestler could easily maintain top control and eke out a decision win.

The rest of the fights on the main card should be decent.  The Serra-Lytle fight is guaranteed to be a barn-burner, and both Melvin Guillard and Jeremy Stephens looked great in their most recent fights.  I was hoping to be spared ever seeing Sean Sherk’s name on a UFC card again, but at least it’s opposite Evan Dunham, who has been on a tear through the lightweight division.  With any luck, Sherk will continue to forget that he’s a wrestler, instead focusing on his boxing and making use of that ferocious 67-inch reach that he’s been blessed with.  I’m sure Dunham would be happy to add a win over a former champion to his resume.

Except, uh, Lesnar survived.  He kept moving, turtled up until referee Josh Rosenthal warned him that he was going to stop the fight, and managed to get to his feet by the end of the round and land a few (admittedly weak) shots of his own.

In the 2nd round, Lesnar landed the takedown against his gassed opponent and managed to do something that no one was expecting –  he won by submission. Best PPV ever?  I think so.

But much like watching a boss fight in a video game, there was some insight to be gleaned from watching Lesnar’s second successful title defense.  Here are 3 things that the next potential contender for the title may want to keep in mind:

1) He’s not just an athlete, he’s a fighter - With all the emphasis that gets placed on his athleticism, it’s easy to forget that this guy isn’t just lifting weights and doing cardio.  Lesnar is a legit martial artist, and though most of his previous fights have been won on the basis of simply being larger, stronger, and faster than his opponents, he is constantly progressing as a fighter.  Just ask Shane Carwin, who outright admitted that he was not at all expecting Brock to even try a submission let alone win the fight with one.  Don’t sleep on Lesnar’s submission game, son, or he’ll put you to sleep.

2) He’s beatable - If that 10-8 first round that Carwin put him through didn’t get the message across, let me spell it out for you.  Brock can be beaten.  Probably not in the first round, but y’know, at some point.  These title fights go 5 rounds, and he hasn’t had a fight last past the 9-minute mark since 2008.  What if Carwin hadn’t punched himself out?  If he had kept a little bit in the tank for the remaining rounds, he may very well have gone home with the belt.  Hmm, maybe the next heavy-handed striker with a solid wrestling background to challenge Brock will have the cardio to chip away at his jaw for more than one round.  KOing him is probably the most likely way of securing that win since…

3) His stand-up game is actually pretty bad - Yes, the man has small cars where most people’s fists are, and he’s busted a few grills open already in his short time fighting in the UFC, but that doesn’t mean his technique is worth a damn.  He’s got less head movement than his action figure, his footwork is practically nonexistent, and he telegraphs his punches so much that a blind man could see them coming.  That said, I was hating on him for having zero submission skills right up until he sunk that choke on Carwin, so maybe Peter Welch can whip some rudimentary boxing skills into him before his next fight.

In any case, he’s got his work cut out for him in his next few title defenses.  If he manages to keep the belt away from Cain Velasquez at UFC 121, he’ll be facing the winner of  Junior Dos Santos v. Roy Nelson next.  Both of those guys are a handful – well, Roy is more of a truckful, but you get what I’m saying.  In either case he’ll be up against a guy with the power and technique to inflict devastating knockouts, it’s just a tossup between whether said knockouts will be served with devastating speed and agility via Dos Santos, or a side full order of chili cheese fries, some  baby back ribs, and a criminally underrated ground game via Big Country.

The Man - Yoshihiro Akiyama is not exactly a household name among North American MMA fans.  The former K-1 champ and DREAM contender has a few semi-notable wins under his belt, having KTFO’d Denis Kang and choked out Katsuyori Shibata, as well as taking the K-1 Hero Light Heavyweight championship from Melvin Manhoef by way of vicious armbar.  Since setting foot on US soil, however, Sexyama has been less than impressive.

In his debut at UFC 100, he pulled off a decidedly lackluster decision win over Alan Belcher.  Following that, the original plan was to match him up with Wanderlei Silva (he’s huge in Japan!) in a bout that both fighters have been looking forward to ever since.  Unfortunately, a plague of injuries – likely spawned by PRIDE’s tendency to throw fighters in the ring multiple times in a night coupled with Wandy’s habit of sparring at 100% strength –  forced Silva to withdraw from the card on relatively short notice.

TUF season 1′s resident asshole alumnus Chris Leben stepped up to the plate, a mere 2 weeks after busting the grill of one Aaron Simpson at The Ultimate Fighter 11 finale.  Though he’s not nearly as much of a name as Wandy is in the eyes of Japanese fans, his swing-for-the-fences brawling style is a close analog to the Axe Murderer’s, and thanks to TUF he’s well known enough stateside to put asses in seats.  Dana’s happy, fans are happy, Leben’s happy…  Akiyama, not so much.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Akiyama-hime, well, he’s a bit of a diva.  Once Wandy pulled out, he threw a bit of a fit and was considering pulling a no-show.  Why?  Because Leben is a nobody in Japan.  Evidently, Akiyama forgot he was fighting in an American organization, and they give precisely jack and shit about how their fights are viewed in Japan.  Mysteriously, he changed his mind and decided that the fight was worth taking for some undisclosed reason.

The Myth - Akiyama’s cardio.  In the first round, he was quick, agile, and a force to be reckoned with.  In the second round, he was no longer outperforming his opponent, and seemed like he was struggling to land anything worth discussing on Leben, a man whose name is not exactly synonymous with elusiveness.  Once the third round began, it was obvious that Akiyama was running on fumes, and he opted to take Leben down and make use of his theoretical advantage on the ground.  It didn’t go so well for him.  The black belt judoka got caught in a triangle choke and submitted in embarrassing fashion by a guy who had spent the previous couple of minutes double-punching him schoolyard stylez.  Rough.

The Legend - Akiyama’s chin.  Leben throws some pretty big bombs, and Akiyama ate quite a few of them.  Dude can take a punch.

What’s Next For Him? – After doing Dana a “favor” by taking this fight, odds are good that Sexyama will want to wait for Wandy to recover so he can cater to his Japanese fans.  Failing that, how about a match with Dan Miller?  He’s coming off of a loss to Michael Bisping, and would likely keep things a bit slower paced than Leben.  Dan has no trouble going 3 rounds, so there’s the potential of testing Akiyama’s cardio again.  Miller is also a slick ground fighter with airtight submission defense, which would force Akiyama to either bring his A-game or keep it standing.  Finally, it’d most likely be a “You’re Fired!” match in all but name, so it’s doubtful that either fighter would hold anything back.  Who knows, maybe Sexyama can even earn himself another Fight of the Night paycheck…